


Last year's best friends

by kannuki_neru



Category: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Genre: Angst, Gen, Introspection, Multi, Psychological Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-25
Updated: 2012-03-25
Packaged: 2017-11-02 12:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/369021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kannuki_neru/pseuds/kannuki_neru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaejoong has parted ways with many people. There is no point in saying goodbyes to those who are not leaving.</p>
<p>Light references to male/female and male/male relationships. Heavy references to current situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last year's best friends

Jaejoong feels a bit like a stray cat and as soon as that thought crosses his mind, he cracks a smirk and throws his barely finished cigarette away. He doesn't look back to see how it slowly burns to ashes - he spares himself the unpleasant mental imagery. Although he does feel a little like a cigarette, only half used and disposed of just when everything started. 

Jaejoong's shoes tap steadily against the pavement. Once again he tries to stop thinking about things like: endings, partings, bitterness, _heartbreak_. There is no point in saying goodbyes to people who are not leaving. 

_Aah._

Jaejoong rehearses his smiles facing a brick wall and is happy that he doesn't have to see them in a mirror. His smiles are so hollow now that Jaejoong feels sorry for people who will have to watch them. Then he tries a little harder, practicing an expression that wouldn't trouble the fans. One for his worried family. Another one for friends.

Jaejoong lights another cigarette and smoke gets into his eyes. He decides to tell anyone who'd ask that he drank too much last night and that is why his eyes are so red. On the other hand, this would make everyone worried that he's been drinking himself into oblivion. Maybe the cigarette smoke, then.

Jaejoong wonders if there is anything at all that he could say. As a role model and a son, he can't drink too much, smoke too much, cause any trouble. And grown up men don't cry as much. Except that he is a grown up and still cries so hard that the world is spinning twice as fast. Yoochun saw him cry like this two days ago. He was then held all night long, feeling guilty. 

Jaejoong has parted ways with many people up until this point. They still appear in his memories, a girl wearing the same dress as his first love, a man buying a set of blankets just like the ones that Jaejoong was lying on when he first made love. Candles that he bought and was scolded for, _I am not a girl, Jaejoong._

He is just not sure if he can actually survive parting with _them_ ,though. Jaejoong feels like a horrible person, but still prays _(everyone can go, everyone but not them)_ and prays _(if all of this is to end, then just let me disappear)_ and prays _(don't give me the same amount of sadness as the amount of happiness I've received)._


End file.
